It's unimaginable that Dan has been gone three years. Some days it seems like forever. And other days it seems like he is just away for the weekend.
Whoever says time heals all was probably just trying to think of something nice to say. If you've ever lost someone, you know that there will never be a time when you don't miss the person... ache to talk to him one more time... see him smile... hear his laugh... But time does start to erase the memories of illness and hospitals and treatments. And for me, I can see him as young and healthy, bouncing around full of life.
Three years is enough to see the lasting impact of loss. I wish so much that Dan were here to see the birth of his best friends' kids and all of his nieces and nephews. I wish that he had a wedding day. I wish he had been able to buy his own house with a yard for a dog (or three, knowing Dan). I wish he could be here in June to have a big party for his 30th. I wish he were here to tell his story because even though we try, there was nothing like his living example of strength and honesty. These things don't ease with time... because as years go by he misses more and more "things". And my heart breaks a little more for him... and for all of us that don't have him in our lives every day.
But, I know that Dan would not want anyone to feel sorry for him. Of course he would want to be missed (and be the center of attention every once in awhile). I think he would like it that his friends will gather tonight and be together. And I think he would understand when we say it still hurts so much because we love so much. And that love will never fade away and never be replaced. Even though my heart is heavy, it is bigger and has more room because of Dan... even his loss. I know all of the good things he brought me will always be with me... and that makes tough anniversaries just a little easier.
Waeger Will Win
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When you hear those 3 famous words - "You have cancer" - your life is never the same. Nearly 4,000 people in the United States are diagnosed with cancer everyday. For survivors and their family and friends, a cancer diagnosis is scary, sad, and daunting - but not hopeless. While our lives may have changed for better or for worse, they are lives that still need to be lived, and in our minds, they are lives worth living.
There was a time when we ourselves didn’t know how to react when someone was diagnosed, what questions to ask, or what daily life was like for anyone surviving cancer. Now that we have some experience in the matter, we wanted to share our thoughts and feelings to hopefully help others who have been touched by cancer.
Please visit the National Collegiate Cancer Foundation http://www.collegiatecancer.org/ for more resources.
There was a time when we ourselves didn’t know how to react when someone was diagnosed, what questions to ask, or what daily life was like for anyone surviving cancer. Now that we have some experience in the matter, we wanted to share our thoughts and feelings to hopefully help others who have been touched by cancer.
Please visit the National Collegiate Cancer Foundation http://www.collegiatecancer.org/ for more resources.
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CancerCon8 years ago
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1 comment:
No, the pain does not go away. I like that you said it is now easier to remember the beautiful memories and think less of the painful illness and hospital visits. I love all the photos around my house that show Danny healthy and vibrant and showing that gorgeous smile of his. And he was such a totally DELIGHTFUL baby! Since birth, he had that laid back attitude and was by far the easiest of five children to take care of. I ponder over all that Dan taught me in his 26 years. Thank you, Meg, for being there for him thru that last difficult year. He loved you so very much! Cicily
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