Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I Prefer the Roller Coaster

Giving Thanks

First off- there is a fantastic article about a young woman whose story reminded me very much of Dan. Her name was Jill Costello. She was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. Like Dan, she was a non-smoker, a college athlete at Berkley- she was on the crew team. She lost her battle after a brief but courageous fight, and has done so much to raise awareness for lung cancer. Jill lived every minute of her short life, and her friends and family are keeping on in her memory.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1178822/1/index.htm

And second, since so many days go where I don't stop and take a moment to reflect on all the great things I have been blessed with, these are the things I am thankful order (in no particular order)

  1. The Tastee Diner- I used to go here almost every morning when I wasn't working after Dan died. It was part of my routine. I've recently started going again before work or days when I work from home. The people there are so nice- salt of the earth kind of people. They know my order and always refill my coffee before I have to ask. It's just a comforting place to go, and I never get tired of going there, even if I eat the same thing every time!
  2. Christmas music- ok, even if it's silly that the radio stations started paying Christmas carols on a continuous loop the week before Thanksgiving, how can you NOT like it? Christmas carols always make me happy. They remind me of going to Catholic school as a kid, and singing in the Christmas pageants. And make me look forward to Christmas Day, when my dad pulls out the song sheets and we all still sing together. On a gloomy day, no matter what time of year, Christmas music always does the trick.
  3. My freedom- and I'm thankful I've never been the one who has to risk my life for it, though I appreciate the men and women that selflessly do.
  4. A good pair of comfy socks in the winter and flip flops in the summer.
  5. My parents who just celebrated 40 years of marriage. They may not be the most demonstrative when it comes to showing affection, but they are always there for the people in their lives. Moreso than any other two people I've ever seen in my life.
  6. My family, which includes both mine by blood and those by the strings of my heart- the Waegers, my "cancer" family, my friends from school... too many to name.
  7. My charming and precocious nieces... for the silly little things, like leaving notes on my refrigerator and their contagious laughter.
  8. My health. My health. My health. And health insurance- so many people are dealing with little ailments and big diseases. To be able to get up every day and do the things I want to do physically- I will never take it for granted. And for the times, I've needed it- the access to doctors and insurance that pays for it. Should be a right, and not a privilege.
  9. The mere fact I've made it through one of the worst losses a person could go through.... however I maintained my head and could have hope for the future- I will never get over the loss and the pain it leaves behind- but the fact that now know the capacity of the human heart to love & heal- I wouldn't give that knowledge up.
  10. Red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting (also my niece's favorite)
  11. Dunkin Donuts coffee
  12. Mani/pedis... best $30 you can spend on yourself and come out feeling like a new girl.
  13. Mashed potatoes
  14. Having someone in my life that loves me and wants the best for me. Who accepts me for who I am today... no matter what. Who supports me and makes me laugh and keeps me happy. And who keeps a level head when I don't.
  15. DVRs- who knew one invention could make life so much easier
  16. Getting paid every two weeks
  17. For my everyday heroes... the ones who spend their days personally or professionally battling cancer. It's the hardest job one can have. For those whose job it is to help those with cancer- the doctors, nurses and non-profit professionals... I don't know how they do it, but their contributions to the quality of other's lives are amazing. For those living with the disease- no one can truly understand the level of mental and physical strength it requires. For the caregivers- to maintain your sanity and stay positive is a true gift.
  18. Going to sleep every night and getting up every morning. I may not like getting older, but I'm lucky I am.
  19. My guardian angel who will always be young, happy and smiling in my memories. Gone but never forgotten and always missed.
Hope you all have a wonderful holiday, and remember to be thankful for the big AND the small things!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Long Way to Go

November is Lung Cancer Awareness month, and next Sunday Nov. 7th, I will be attending the second annual Breathe Deep DC (BDDC) 5k walk for the Lungevity Foundation. If you'd like more info, please visit

http://events.lungevity.org/site/TR/2010TeamRaiser/General?px=1448282&pg=personal&fr_id=2641

I've helped out the last two years with the event, and have been amazed at what a small group of people have done to raise awareness about our #1 cancer killer. The walk was started by my friend Jerry Sorkin, who is currently battling lung cancer. This is actually his second go-round with cancer, having beaten it back as a college student many years ago. He is married with two great kids and an awesome wife. Anyways, the walk came about last year when Jerry wanted to find an event to attend during Lung Cancer Awareness month in the DC area. And he was stunned to find that NONE existed. NONE. And this is a disease that kills more people that breast, prostrate & colon cancer COMBINED. So Jerry got together a few people, put them to the task of conducting a wall on the National Mall.... people who weren't fundraisers or working for a non-profit, just a group of people who wanted to make a difference for Jerry and everyone dealing with lung cancer.

Below is what I wrote when asked to say a few words about why I am involved in the event (few words- hah!)

I was engaged to Dan Waeger, whom we lost to stage IV lung cancer at the age of 26 in March 2009. At the time he was diagnosed, Dan was just 22 years old. He was pursuing a Master's degree at Wagner College where he was also the assistant golf coach. The diagnosis came as a total shock. Not only was he just 22, but he was a lifelong athlete. He was a non-smoker from a family of non-smokers and with no known risk factors.

Dan took his diagnosis in stride. He commuted from New York to Baltimore to receive chemo, and maintained his full-time student status. Not an easy feat. It was his experiences as a young adult dealing with cancer who did not want to put his education on hold that led him to found the National Collegiate Cancer Foundation (NCCF). When friends and family wanted to raise money for him, he instead gave it away to young adults who did not have the "team" he did- friends, family, health insurance, etc.

Dan lived with his stage IV diagnosis for almost four years. During that time, he made cancer advocacy his life's passion. Foregoing a career on Wall Street, he instead took a job in development at the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship, the nation's oldest survivor-focused organization. He also advocated passionately for lung cancer research and awareness, trying to dispel the stigma associated with the disease. He hoped that by sharing his story and "winning" attitude, he could impact change.... on a policy level, but more importantly, on a personal level with those who were not educated on the truth about lung cancer.

But the greatest thing about Dan was that despite his cancer diagnosis, he was the most normal person to be around. He would have chemo on a Friday, and return to work full-time on Tuesday. He traveled, golfed, had beers with his buddies, spoiled his nieces & nephews... and fell in love and proposed to me! (Perhaps his wisest choice!). We were engaged in March 2008, and true to form, set out to plan our wedding a year later. Many people ask why we didn't get married right away... well, we wanted to have everything that normal people have when they get engaged... a year-long engagement, parties and a grand wedding. Unfortunately, about 3 months after we got engaged, the cancer spread to his liver. It was devastating news, but together we spent the next 9 months together fighting for his life.

Despite his harsh treatments, he never gave up working or traveling to raise awareness. In fact, one of the last speeches he gave was to Eli Lily in which he issued a call to action to the company President to adopt lung cancer- an orphaned cancer. He stood up there, knowing he did not have long to live, to thank the researchers for developing Alimta, a drug that gave him 3 years of a great life. Until the end, he wanted to fight and spread his message... "Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it". Together, we blogged about our life and living with cancer. That blog was visited by over 15,000 people around the world.

He died in March 2009, and there has not been a day that goes that I don't miss him, am not proud of him and am not motivated to raise awareness for lung cancer. Since he died- I've tried to live the way he taught me. I've picked up NCCF and we are building that for a great future to help young adults. We've raised over $120,000 for our scholarship program. And I've become involved in lung cancer advocacy. Which is how I met Jerry Sorkin. We were both advocating on the Hill for another organization (the Lung Cancer Alliance). We happened to sit next to each other on a bus ride. I remember thinking- "This guy must have lost a parent"... so I was shocked- yes me!- when he told me he has lung cancer. And we become friends. So of course I wanted to help with BDDC in any way possible.

I guess the angle that most people take with BDDC is around raising awareness and research dollars. But what people don't understand- unless they've dealt with lung cancer- is the complete isolation of the disease, especially for those who have lost someone. People ask why they don't hear about lung cancer if it's our #1 cancer killer. Well, very few people survive the disease. And those that do make it beyond the first year... no one tells you what it means to live with the disease. There are few survivors to hold walks and events... only devastated families who lose their loved ones swiftly and painfully, and are left to wonder what happened. Why isn't there pride associated with living with lung cancer? Because people think those diagnosed have brought it on themselves through smoking. Why can't we detect it earlier? Because there are not adequate tests. Why is it so tough to treat? Because your best option is to catch it early and cut out part of a lung.

BDDC is the first event of its kind here in DC. Yes- we are raising money for research. But just as importantly, we are allowing those affected by the disease to come together... to grieve, to celebrate, to acknowledge our fight and anger that this disease has been ignored for too long. I KNOW that one day we will fill the Mall with survivors and family & friends just like the breast cancer walks do. And this is not a knock on breast cancer at all. Rather, the progress they've made with that disease is a great benchmark for us in the lung cancer fight.

So, I am involved with BDDC because of Dan Waeger. My love who challenged me to be positive, to be proactive, to be accountable and to make a meaningful difference in the world. And I don't know anyone else who holds those qualities more than Jerry and our team at BDDC.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

We Keep Winning

To all who helped with Waeger Cup VI....THANK YOU!!!! We raised close to $15,000 for our scholarship program and blew past my expectations (which isn't easy to do!). We had a fantastic day at the Links of Gettysburg. The weather was great, the golf was better! We had so many people who donated and volunteered... too many to fit in the program this year! I hope to have pictures up as soon as I find the attachment to my camera :)

As I was standing up in front of everyone at dinner (175 people!), I was really struck by something. First off, I was so honored to be representing this wonderful community that comes together every year to support NCCF. Most people come back year after year, and have tirelessly supported our mission. One thing I've learned... never doubt the power of a small group of people can change the world (thanks, Margaret Mead!). My "job" gets easier each year because so many people step up to help... and it isn't always with a big check. They tell Dan's story, and next thing you know- others want to help in any way. So I'm going to refer to myself as chief snowball roller... just making that snowball and letting it loose from the top of the hill, and watching as it gets bigger and bigger the further it goes.

Second, and I said this at Dan's memorial on Fed Hill last March.... it only takes a spark to get a fire going. At Dan's funeral, the priest related Dan's diagnosis to God taking Dan into a dark tunnel, and leaving him with one single candle. With his candle, Dan lit those of others, until the whole tunnel was glowing. He made others feel less lonely, less dark in their own lives. And he showed us how one person can make a difference and keep making a difference. I hope that for those of us that support NCCF- when it seems a little stressful or we aren't doing enough- I hope we remember the power of one. We've given out 50 scholarships from an organization that was borne out of one person's thought to help others with less than he had. Dan knew nothing about cancer. He knew nothing about setting up a foundation. He knew nothing about giving out scholarships. He knew nothing about raising money. But he figured it out. He made an effort. And we are all figuring it out, learning as we go. I hope we take a step back and acknowledge that without cumulative efforts, 50 people would have a harder time staying in school. And those 50 people will touch so many more lives, sharing their story.

SO.... thank you all!!! We are doing amazing things. We will continue to do amazing things. I will always be here to help, but I can't do it alone.

Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.

Monday, September 20, 2010

2010 Waeger Cup

In case you haven't heard already...

The 6th Annual Waeger C.U.P. is right around the corner!!! Mark your calendars- Sunday October 17, 2010.

The tournament will be held at a new location this year- The Links of Gettysburg in Gettysburg , PA. We thank Mike Caporaletti and all the great people at the Royal Oaks Golf Club in Lebanon , PA for hosting us the past five years.

Although he only golfs with us in spirit now, Dan Waeger's legacy lives on in the winning attitude he instilled in others by living his life to the fullest, accepting every challenge, never feeling sorry for himself and committing himself to making a difference in the cancer community. The National Collegiate Cancer Foundation is founded on the principles Dan embodied, and will continue his legacy by serving other young adult cancer survivors.

The Waeger CUP was never about Dan's fight. It is about the 70,000+ young adults who get diagnosed with cancer every year, and those that love and support them. Cancer is the leading disease killer among 20-39 year-olds. Survival rates for young adults have not increased since 1975. Young adults and adolescents continue to be challenged with countless issues specific to their demographic making them one of the most under-served populations of people affected by cancer. And of the 400 cancer organizations in the U.S. , very few to none focus specifically on cancer survivorship issues faced by young adults. NCCF is committed to making a difference in the lives of young adult cancer survivors by providing scholarship assistance to these courageous and inspiring people.

Over the past year, it has been a real honor and testament to Dan's legacy to see so many of you become involved with NCCF. Earlier this summer, we had over 60 volunteers read close to 150 scholarship applications. Last week, we proudly awarded our 51st scholarship in just 5 short years. The reactions of the recipients say it all- some were moved to tears, and all commented that receiving such an award gives them hope for their futures that once seemed so uncertain.

Many, many people volunteered last year to pull off a great tournament, and we will need your support again in 2010!

Registration:
There are two ways to register for the golf tournament:

1) Visit http://collegiatecancer.org/waeger-cup.html

and fill out the registration form and mail it with a check to

NCCF
C/o Meg Rodgers
4858 Battery Lane #216
Bethesda, MD 20814

2) Pay by credit card by making an online donation by clicking the "DONATE" button on the left side of the page and send an email to waegercup@yahoo.com with your foursome or sponsorship information.

Please note that we've had to increase our golfer's fees slightly to $110.

Donations & Sponsorships
Even you are unable to join us, you can still help! We have plenty of sponsorship opportunities, ranging from our $100 hole sponsorship to $1,000 title sponsorship. We take all donations, big or small. We can also work with you to enable corporate gifts, and even matching donations. And we rely on donations of all sorts of items to support our auction and raffle items. We need everything- tickets to Ravens or Redskins games, vacation home donations, gift cards from local restaurants and anything we can get!

On a personal note, Dan's family and I want to thank all of you for the support you have shown us since we lost Dan. We've been overwhelmed by the generosity you've shown and truly touched that many of you have become more involved in NCCF. All of us are so proud of the way Dan lived his life, and the impact he still makes on the cancer community, and all that knew him or of his story. Through the efforts of an ever-growing volunteer corps, NCCF will live on, and I hope you all will continue to join us.

Thank you for all your support!!!

Oh, please try to get your money and registration forms in by October 10th! Contact the Waeger CUP committee at waegercup@yahoo.com with questions.

2010-2011 Scholarship Winners

It's been a busy six months (!) since I last wrote here. Apologies for dropping off... it's certainly not that I don't think about Dan, cancer or the Foundation every day, but it's been awhile since I've even had the urge to write. Just wanted to update everyone on some important NCCF happenings.

We had a very successfull scholarship program this year! NCCF received over 175 applications, and we awarded 12 scholarships! It really does get harder every year to choose among the many qualified applicants. Special thanks goes to the over 60+ people who helped read all the applications. We will be posting writeups on our website soon, but here is a list of our winners...

Ryan Berardi
Lisa Berman
Erica Bury
Shilham Colegial
Laura Duran
Hans Fernandez
James Fowkes
Michael Holderman
Rachel Lozano
Sally Newton
Mario Terrell
Jessica Weller

One of the reasons I choose to continue to be so involved in NCCF is that I really like the fact we know exactly where the money we raise goes to... we know each of the 50(!) people who have been awarded scholarships in the past 5 years. When the admin gets a little tiresome, I can always pull out a scholarship application and re-read it. There are so few organizations that actually give out money to individuals. So it's nice to know who we are really helping.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

NCCF Scholarship Application Now Posted!

The 2010-2011 NCCF scholarship application is now posted! Applications will be due June 1, 2010.

Our $1,000 scholarships are open to any young adult cancer survivor or patient between 18-35 who is pursuing higher education.

To date, we've awarded close to 50 scholarships in just 4 short years. What a great way to keep Dan's legacy alive, and keep everyone involved.

To view the requirements and download the application, please visit

http://collegiatecancer.org/scholarships.html

Please pass this information on to anyone who may be eligible!