Saturday, May 2, 2009

If a Tree Falls in the Forest...

More like if a good deed is done and no one is watching, doesn't it make it all that much better?

I have spent most of the evening working through some things for NCCF. I've been sitting here for about 4 hours straight, and my shoulders and neck are aching! I attribute this to getting man-handled by a masseuse today. But I digress.

Some readers may not know that Dan pretty much ran NCCF all by himself. Since he's been gone, I've been trying to keep things moving. And let me tell you- I completely underestimated what it took for him to manage all the emails, the scholarship questions, the website, donations... and we haven't even touched the Waeger CUP yet! I feel overwhelmed some days, and I have plenty of people waiting to pitch in. Honestly, I though I was helpful to Dan the past couple of years with respect to NCCF but I hardly did a thing!

As if I didn't admire Dan enough, I think of him balancing a full-time job and treatments, and then having the energy to manage NCCF.... it really gives me a boost on the days when it feels like I am carrying a 25 pound backpack of grief, anxiety & anger. (Hence, the trip to the spa today).

I guess what strikes me the most is how subtle Dan was with respect to the effort it took to run his organization on top of everything else. He never complained, was always available to anyone that called and took the criticisms of people in stride. Note: it's sometimes very tough to do good- people are seldom satisfied. I used to listen to him as he spoke to people who called NCCF, often spending up to an hour talking to someone who was newly diagnosed or a parent frantic to help a child. He did all of these things out of sight and often without recognition. People called NCCF thinking they were getting a big organization, and they ended up getting Dan, the man behind the curtain.

Just when I thought I knew it all, I am learning so much more about Dan's will and spirit. When faced with a huge task, many will shrug and say "Well, I am only one man" and wait for someone else to solve the problem. But some days, it may only take one person to make that difference if he just steps up and tries.


hughesd2000 said...

Such life lessons his 26 years of life have taught us. He never probably wanted to be that guy who taught us all how to live, but he did and continues to do so many times over. I am hoping the backpack you carry of grief, anxiety,and anger begins to get lighter for you knowing that some days will be better than others. Love you!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Meg, I still cry when I read the blog. And I am grateful that you keep it up because even though Dan was my son, I did not know him as well as you did. The way you can share all the wonderful things he did is a gift - making me increasingly proud of what a great child I had and also sad that sone of his talents are just recognized after his transition. Thank you for recognizing Danny's great qualities and for sharing them with all of us. Love, Cicily