Sunday, September 14, 2008

Rules of the Game

If I try to find the silver lining with cancer, is that most of the rules of my old, "normal" world no longer apply. I always had the attitude that you should prepare yourself for any situation. You put your head down, power through and keep to yourself. Usually this often verged on preparing for the worst. With cancer, I've learned that this is not a healthy way to go about the daily routine. Nor is it much fun.

There is no way you can prepare yourself for the raw emotions that hit you- both the joy and the fear. I've had to learn to go with the flow a lot more. To try and acknowledge the down times, but move on as quickly as possible. To focus on the things I can change or work towards, as opposed to preparing for things that may not happen. Since Dan has been so involved in the cancer community, it has been easy for me to join in his foundation and advocacy work. So when the bad days come, I have an immediate outlet to do something positive about cancer.

For some people, like me, cancer provides a license to speak and express things that most wouldn't normally say. Cancer allows you to take the muzzle off- an excuse to shake things up. I know this isn't the case for everyone, and I can certainly understand how scary and uncomfortable it can be to acknowledge your fears, let alone speak them, and certainly not write about them for the world to see! I respect that some people who have had cancer touch their lives aren't able to share the hard times. Trust me, I'd give anything NOT to write this blog. The old me would never have done it!.

The rules of my old life no longer apply. But those rules were pretty stupid anyways. No more super-preparedness... better to love with reckless abandon and see where it takes me.


Anonymous said...

You are wise beyond your years... a shame that it takes a thing like cancer for us to realize it.

hughesd2000 said...

Why not right?? You can never, no matter how hard you try, be totally prepared for all things in your life and that is what makes life interesting. Sometimes you got to throw those rules out the window (but don't tell my kids that) and live life where your heart leads you!